Why Relationships Matter: Science of Social Sustainability

I recently have been working with my brother on a woodworking project for my beautiful wife. We had just finished setting up for the day when the sudden, jarring sounds of a car crash shattered the calm. We both rushed to the window, our hearts pounding, to see what had happened.

In a heartbeat, I recognized one of the vehicles - it belonged to one of my co-workers. Without hesitation, I ran to help, feeling an overwhelming need to be there. As I assisted, my co-worker looked at me and said, “God sent me you.”

Whether you believe in God or not, their statement showed the profound impact and power of a human connection. In times of shock, our bodies naturally seek comfort in one another.

You see, we need to connect with other people. This intrinsic need for human connection is both deeply emotional and rooted in science. It all starts with a hormone called oxytocin.

The Connection Hormone: Oxytocin

Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are considered the “Happy Hormones”. Oxytocin is indeed involved in attraction, often giving it the nickname the “Love Hormone”. However, it is also the hormone released when we make a social connection. It has been shown to influence feelings of empathy, trust, and social recognition (1).

Primarily, oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus, a small neural organ inside the brain. It is then stored and released into the bloodstream and brain by the posterior pituitary gland.

Once released, oxytocin interacts with another part of the brain called the amygdala, which is your brain’s emotional processing unit responsible for fear and trust. Oxytocin interacts with the amygdala to reduce fear, and enhance feelings of safety, empathy, and social bonding. This specific interaction is what helps us foster trust and deepen our emotional connections (2).

The flood of oxytocin my coworker received in her time of need is what allowed her to feel grateful and safe when I arrived at the car accident.

Oxytocin does not act alone. Another “Happy Hormone”, dopamine, works with oxytocin to produce that social bonding experience. This interaction is what specifically may make social interactions pleasurable and even addictive.

An interaction with the “Stress Hormone”, cortisol, is yet another interaction oxytocin has. This time, oxytocin is the counteracting hormone. Oxytocin inhibits the release of cortisol (3).

At the same time, oxytocin enhances serotonin activity, which most contributes to mood regulation and emotional stability. This combination of lowering stress and boosting mood creates an environment that fosters relaxation, trust, and emotional well-being (4). This explains why my coworker was calmed, comforted, and happy that I was there to help them.

Connection

Oxytocin lays the groundwork for all of our social connections. On top of that, situations that help you release oxytocin also help others around you release oxytocin as well (5). Simple connections and actions are the basis of making meaningful relationships, and thus compassionate communities.

So, What Is Social Sustainability?

Oxytocin is the basis of meaningful relationships. The best part about oxytocin is that it influences us to continue helping others (6)! That is the basis of Social Sustainability and creating resilient, inclusive, and empowered communities.

Just like oxytocin gives positive feedback to individual relationships, it also does the same at a large scale. Individual care leads to meaningful connections. Meaningful connections lead to a group or community with empathy and resilience. A community with empathy and resilience is what makes a socially sustainable culture.

It is much like paying it forward at the drive-through. Someone decides to make a stranger’s day by paying for their order. Upon realizing the person ahead of them paid for their order, they freely pay for the person behind them as well. All of a sudden, there were twelve orders in a row being paid for by strangers.

Oxytocin is One Part of a Grand System

The modern Civil Rights movement started similarly. On December 1, 1955, in Montgomery Alabama, a 42-year-old woman named Rosa Parks boarded a bus and quickly went to an area designated for “Black” passengers. When a white man boarded and couldn’t find a seat, the bus driver instructed Rosa Parks and others to give up their seats for him. She refused and was arrested.

Her arrest sparked outrage, definitely the opposite of releasing oxytocin. However, a grassroots movement was born through the connections those angered by this event made, a clear oxytocin feedback. Through peaceful connections, the Montgomery Improvement Association was born, led by none other than Martin Luther King Jr. (7).

These simple isolated actions were transformed into a coordinated movement for social change and equality. Along with Martin Luther King Jr., other leaders and community activists in nearby cities like Selma and Birmingham built massive networks of people through trust and solidarity. Oxytocin played a role in each of those connections. These movements culminated in a nationwide Civil Rights Movement and the passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

This type of connection and empathy is the foundation for social sustainability. By fostering collective ownership and inclusive participation, the movement demonstrated that a sustainable society is built on empowered communities working together toward long-term equity and resilience.

Cherish Small Moments

As I assisted my coworker, another car drove around the accident and stopped nearby. He didn’t know us, or the occupants of either car, but just seeing the kind acts of others to help inspired him to help.

Nothing is more powerful than making a difference and inspiring someone else to do the same. I do not know where this good Samaritan ended up, but I do know he will continue to help someone else in the future.

You never know when one small act, like helping at a car accident or sharing a story, can lead to the next Civil Rights Movement, so cherish those small moments. Do something good for someone else simply because it is right. The impact may be more profound than you think.

Works Cited

(1) Oxytocin: the hormone of connection and its genetic influences - NutraHacker University [Internet]. Available from: https://www.nutrahacker.com/nutrahacker_university/en/oxytocin-the-connection-hormone.php

(2) Kirsch P, Esslinger C, Chen Q, Mier D, Lis S, Siddhanti S, et al. Oxytocin modulates neural circuitry for social cognition and fear in humans. Journal of Neuroscience [Internet]. 2005 Dec 7;25(49):11489–93. Available from: https://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/49/11489

(3) NeuroLaunch.com. Oxytocin in the brain: the neurochemistry of love, trust, and social bonding [Internet]. NeuroLaunch.com. 2024. Available from: https://neurolaunch.com/oxytocin-in-the-brain/

(4) Ueda NS. SMO theory: A comprehensive review of oxytocin secretion via serotonin and melatonin pathways. International Journal of Science and Research Archive [Internet]. 2024 Nov 15;13(2):647–57. Available from: https://doi.org/10.30574/ijsra.2024.13.2.2135

(5) Harvard Health. Oxytocin: The love hormone [Internet]. Harvard Health. 2023. Available from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/oxytocin-the-love-hormone

(6) Ritvo E MD. Proof that helping others helps you. Psychology Today [Internet]. 2014 Apr 25; Available from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/vitality/201404/the-neuroscience-giving?msockid=024f4701f545630c03674bc4f4cd62ca

(7) History.com Editors. Civil rights movement: timeline, key events & leaders | HISTORY. HISTORY [Internet]. 2025 Mar 2; Available from: https://www.history.com/articles/civil-rights-movement