Finding Your Purpose: Path to Fulfillment
Are you a doctor who saves lives, an archeologist who unravels mysteries of the past, or maybe you are a devoted parent and spouse whose family means the world? This is your purpose, the very thing that spurs you to get up in the morning, the thing that allows you to sleep at night, the thing that brings you the most joy and fulfillment.
Everyone has one. Some are more complex than others, but EVERY purpose is EQUAL. Your purpose does not care how much money you make or your possessions. It does not care about making a following or having people praise you (although that can help). It’s a path to fulfillment.
My One Caveat
Now, I have to be completely honest here…
I cannot tell you your life’s purpose or what will make your life fulfilling. Finding your purpose is a matter of extreme self-discovery. It is a difficult and tumultuous journey full of highs and lows. Finding your purpose will bring you great joy and lifelong satisfaction.
There are ways to challenge your thinking and grow towards your best self.
Defining Purpose
Defining your purpose is one hard task. That is because your purpose uses two different parts of the brain, the prefrontal cortex for cognitive thinking, and the limbic system for emotional processing. While they work together to create your purpose, the limbic system has little to no part in communication. This is why we find it hard to articulate why we love someone. That being said, some experts have explained and defined a purpose in great detail so that we can define our own.
Simon Sinek’s “Why”
In Simon Sinek’s book Start With Why, he explains the golden circle. Although mostly talking about leaders and businesses, Simon’s Golden Circle framework works very well on a personal level. It becomes a great framework for organizing your own life and purpose. Here is how Simon describes the Golden Circle.
Simon Sinek’s “Golden Circle” (1)
WHAT
Everyone knows what they do. They can describe their job functions and the things they do and are. For example, I am a zookeeper, golfer, and husband.
HOW
Many know how they do what they do. This is what makes you unique. In a business sense, it is your “differentiating value proposition,” “proprietary process,” or “unique selling proposition” as stated in Start With Why. This is what makes you different from others.
WHY
Simon’s words say it best here, so here is an excerpt.
When I say WHY, I don’t mean to make money - that’s a result. By WHY I mean what is your purpose, cause, or belief? Why does your company exist? Why do you get out of bed every morning? and WHY should anyone care? (Sinek, 2009, 39)
He says, “By WHY I mean what is your purpose.” Your purpose is your compass, your drive to do what you do and to continue to grow day in and day out. It is your internal belief that you are capable of so much good (2).
I crafted my own Why Statement using what I learned in Start With Why. Feel free to use this example to craft your own.
To provide and support social, financial, environmental, and purposeful sustainability so that every individual, organization, and species has the potential and ability to thrive in their own environments.
Lewis Howes’ Meaningful Mission
What happens when you combine all your passions, power, and strengths, to solve a problem you see in this world? What happens if you focus on a mission that is meaningful to you, and resonates to your soul on why you act? This is what Lewis Howes says about your Meaningful Mission in Chapter 3 of his book The Greatness Mindset (3).
Howes breaks down a Meaningful Mission into separate words to define it. First, he describes what it means to be meaningful. It must be extremely personal to you. It cannot be something someone else wants you to accomplish, forced onto you, or fall into by accident.
Second, a mission is not a trip or vacation. It is something that moves you to do things greater than yourself. It takes time. Through your mission, it will reshape you into an even greater person. It taps into what many call the Growth Mindset (Howes, 2023, 40-41).
Lewis defines his Meaningful Mission as follows,
To serve 100 million lives weekly by helping them improve the quality of their lives and overcome the things that hold them back (Howes, 2023, 41).
Lewis suggests you should give your mission a concrete goal. Think of it as your quest. Once you reach the goal, you will have to reevaluate your mission for what’s next. The more infinite your goal is, the better.
Daniel Pink’s Capital “P” Purpose and small “p” purpose
Daniel Pink, yet another New York Times best-selling author (I read a lot) of Drive, describes purpose in two ways, capital “P” and small “p”.
Daniel states that your capital “P” Purpose is your big, transcendent goal. It is something significantly larger than yourself or your organization.
Your small “p” purpose is simply contributing. This can be as simple as helping a coworker or typing up an essay. It is a contribution to others or your “P” Purpose.
The reason I like Daniel’s definition is because sometimes the big goal is daunting. Simply contributing to your “P” Purpose can help to move towards it. It makes resting just as important as working, fun as important as serious. You need to contribute to yourself to be able to contribute to your “P” Purpose at all. Through every little “p” purpose you complete, you get closer to that “P” Purpose (4).
Finding Your Purpose
First, this is what a purpose has to be.
It has to be intrinsic, personal to you, and follow your beliefs.
It must be of service to others.
It is fulfilling to you.
Fulfillment is that deep sense of contentment and satisfaction that comes from achieving your goals, living your values, and feeling connected to something bigger than yourself. It's about experiencing joy in your actions and seeing the good you have helped create. This is the path you want to take, a path toward fulfillment.
Now that we can define purpose, it is time to find it. Like I said earlier, I cannot tell you your purpose and what fulfills you. This is an entirely personal journey. However, I can spark ideas on your purpose through some thought-provoking questions or exercises. Answering these will not help you articulate your purpose, I would defer to Start With Why for that. However, they will grow your mind closer to truly finding your purpose and a path to fulfillment.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself
Try to answer these questions without anyone else’s influence or input. Put down the phone, get rid of distractions, and think truly internally. This is YOUR journey, your purpose in life, not theirs.
What brings you joy?
This may seem like a simple question, but writing out the things that bring you joy can help narrow your focus. Do you love your family, caring for them, or hosting the annual Holiday get-together? Do you love playing video games or reading? How about being outside versus inside? There are no wrong answers here, this is what your heart and mind tell you. List only the things that you consistently do or believe. This is extremely important. Focus on the constants from when you were a kid and have withstood the test of time as you have grown.
As you ask yourself what you enjoy, get as specific as possible. Try to combine all of these aspects into one solid phrase. For example something like “I would love to be outside, teaching about wildlife conservation and sustainability to high school and college age students and peers from around the world as they journey through their path of fulfillment”. Get more specific if you can.
What is the greatest problem you see in the world?
This one can be extremely difficult to find an answer. Many problems take up our minds. Again, look inside. No one else gets to decide your purpose but yourself. Do you think your children need to grow up healthy and strong? Does disease feel like an imminent threat to humanity? What about how students learn?
One pitfall here: It is easy to say you want to be the best at something or be the first to do something. Although this is great, there has to be a reason behind that. They make great goals, but they are not a purpose.
What do you want to be said for your eulogy or obituary?
It is easy to list WHAT you have done, but when we all pass, our closest friends and family will remember things far more human. I recently had a colleague pass away from COVID. When remembering him, we said things like heart, passion, dedication, and love. We noted his devotion to penguin conservation, specifically African Penguins (Spheniscuc demersus). We remembered his family and the love he showed them, especially his partner. We explored his interest in technology, specifically in drones and action cameras. Those are what made him.
Lewis Howes gives a great “Write Your Obituary” exercise in his book. He breaks it down into even more questions, but the one I like the best is “… What do people say is your legacy …” (Howes, 2023, 50-52). What is your legacy?
Start Your Journey
Now you have more tools to define your purpose. It may not come to you right away, but that’s ok. The search for your purpose brings fulfillment itself. I can’t wait to see the good all of you will bring!
Works Cited
(1) The Golden Circle - Simon Sinek [Internet]. Simon Sinek. Available from: https://simonsinek.com/golden-circle/
(2) Sinek S. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. Portfolio; 2009.
(3) Howes L. The greatness mindset: Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today. Hay House, Inc; 2023.
(4) Petrik A. Daniel Pink: Capital “P” and small “p” purpose | Vistage [Internet]. Vistage Research Center. 2024. Available from: https://www.vistage.com/research-center/business-leadership/mission-vision-purpose/20230412-daniel-pink-purpose/
