Is it OK to be … Selfish?

Hello

I recently made my fourth speech at my Toastmasters Club. For those who do not know about Toastmasters, it is an international organization that teaches people how to speak in public. At the end, I felt discouraged for a strange reason. I felt selfish.

This was only my fourth speech, and yet for three of the four speeches I was given a huge compliment in “This speech could be a Toastmaster International Speech Contest Contender”. My speech wasn’t just good, it was competitively good.

Yet, I found myself thinking, do I deserve this? Some people have been here for years who have never gotten these types of remarks for their evaluations. Do I deserve such praise? After all, my goal for Toastmasters wasn’t to win competitions for myself but was to help others.

I felt selfish, as if I took the spotlight from others. Seeing me somewhat distraught, a more senior member of the club sat down next to me. I confided that I felt selfish, having such great remarks about almost all of my speeches, and that my goal isn’t to win but to help. She said “Whoever gave you that advice is incorrect. You have to focus on yourself”.

Seemingly to reiterate this, a recent sermon I heard referenced the emergency oxygen masks if there is something wrong with a plane. “Make sure your mask is secure before you help the person next to you”.

It is ok to think about yourself. It is ok to grow. It is ok to win. All of this isn’t taking from others or being selfish, it is helping yourself.

I reminded myself of a metaphor, that it’s hard to give when your cup is only half full. Instead, make your cup overflowing and the giving will just pour out.

It’s ok to focus on yourself. I hope you can find time this week to continue YOUR journey.

Best regards,

Nick Siebert